


Best Served Cold

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner struts, Captain America gets arrested for littering, Fluff, Framing, Humour, M/M, Playful Revenge, Science Bros, Science Trolling, Trolling, You won't like him when he struts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 06:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1256557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce finds out why the other Avengers always seem a bit too cheerful when they bail him out after he gets arrested for indecent exposure. And then it's time for revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Served Cold

"Littering? Really?" Tony smirked as Natasha and Steve walked back into the common room. "Captain America written up for littering the streets of New York City?"

 

Steve groaned. It was really not his day. Being arrested for littering was bad enough--there was a rubbish bin right there a _moment_ before he threw the apple core, he was sure of it--but needing to get bailed out by Natasha Romanov didn't make things better at all. And then there was Stark.

 

"I could have sworn there was a rubbish bin half a second earlier!" Steve protested.

 

Tony's smug grin widened. Steve decided that it was time to wipe it off his face.

 

"Hey," Steve shrugged. "At least I didn't get fined for illegal downloading."

 

"For the fifteenth time, I was framed for that!" Tony threw his hands in the air. "There is _no way_ I would ever get caught. I route all my data through--"

 

"Does anyone else think it's weird?" Clint asked, from the windowsill where he'd been sitting and watching the city.

 

"That's what I've been saying!" Tony said.

 

"No," Clint said. "I mean, Nat getting arrested for pick-pocketing. The last time she was caught, she was what? Five?"

 

"Four," Natasha said, sitting down on the opposite end of the windowsill from Clint.

 

"You worried you're next?" Tony asked. "What would it be for you? Roof and tunnel hacking? Is that even illegal?"

 

"I think it's called trespassing," Steve said.

 

"I'm just saying it's weird," Clint said. "That's all."

 

"Excuse me," JARVIS interrupted. "Ms Romanov, Mr Barton, Mr Rogers, Mr Stark."

 

"Yeah, J?" Tony prompted.

 

"Dr Banner just suggested that I show you a surveillance clip. It may be relevant to this conversation."

 

"Run it," Tony said.

 

JARVIS turned on one of the screens in the wall. On it, he displayed a surveillance video from several weeks prior showing the corridor outside the common room.

 

***

 

_There was chatter in the common room, and Bruce was walking down the corridor towards it, when suddenly, he stopped, stood still, and turned his head, listening to the conversation._

 

_"He does tend to get flustered," Steve's voice carried over from the other side of the half-open door. It sounded like a confession. "It's not unattractive."_

 

_"Oh, just admit it," Natasha cajoled. "You think he's cute when he's all flustered in jail."_

 

_"You do, too," Steve returned._

 

_"Hey," Natasha's smile was evident in her voice. "Not many people can rock that orange jumpsuit."_

 

_"And the handcuffs," Tony said. "Let's not forget those."_

 

 _"Meh," Natasha said. "_ I _could pull off hot-in-handcuffs."_

 

_"Yeah, I'd believe that," Tony admitted._

 

_As the conversation progressed, out in the corridor, Bruce's expression went for shocked to scheming to smirking._

 

_"JARVIS, you catch that?" Bruce whispered._

 

_"Of course, sir. Shall I save it for the grand finale of your imminent show of vengeance?"_

 

_"You're the best," Bruce smiled at the camera._

 

***

 

"You..." Tony glared furiously at JARVIS's camera when the video ended. "You _helped_ him do this?"

 

"I mostly confined myself to spectating," JARVIS admitted. "Lent a hand when I could."

 

"You _framed me_ with illegal downloading-- You-- You--"

 

"I thought it would be amusing," JARVIS said. "That assessment turned out to be correct."

 

"What would be amusing?" Bruce asked, strolling in.

 

"And you!" Tony pointed at Bruce. "You--"

 

"Tony," Steve interrupted, silencing Tony with a glare. Then he turned to Bruce. "Bruce, I am sorry for making comments about you when you were feeling vulnerable. It was inappropriate."

 

Bruce shrugged. "They were goading you."

 

"And they're sorry, too. Aren't you?" Steve glanced meaningfully at Tony and Natasha.

 

"What we said was inappropriate. I'm sorry," Natasha said.

 

They all looked at Tony.

 

"I'm... sorry." Tony bit out, not making eye contact with anybody.

 

"Anyway," Steve continued. "It was still my responsibility to keep that in check. I apologise for failing to do so."

 

Bruce stared at him for a moment. "Apology accepted," he said, finally. He turned bashful. "And there were probably more mature ways I could have handled the situation."

 

Steve nodded. "Perhaps we should have a conversation about how to resolve--"

 

"Nope! Maturity's over-rated," Tony interrupted. "I liked Bruce's methodology just fine."

 

" _I_ was the one who got framed." Steve pointed out. "I mean let's face it, you two actually do things like illegal downloading and pick-pocketing. I don't _litter_."

 

"Yeah, well he just saved you from dying a misdemeanour virgin. Virgin of mis-demeanour-ness. Mis-demeanourity? Whatever, you should thank him," Tony turned to Bruce. "See, what I don't get is how you could trick him into littering using bleeding-edge realistic holographic projections and not let your science bro in on it? I mean _that_ just violates the science bro code."

 

"Aw," Bruce said, patting Tony's head. "You're upset that you can't get the collimator to let enough energy through without compromising resolution. I'm sure you'll figure it out someday."

 

Tony crossed his arms and pouted. "Really? That's how you're gonna play it? See if we come bail you out next time you're arrested for indecent exposure!"

 

"Oh, you'll bail me out," Bruce said.

 

"How do you figure that?" Natasha asked.

 

"Well," Bruce grinned. "I rock that orange jumpsuit." He turned to Tony and winked. "And those hand-cuffs."

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. Bruce is a bit more vindictive than I usually write him. I was reading thingswithwings's gorgeous story, [Five Other Uses for the Arc Reactor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/672545), and when Tony asked Steve why the Avengers had to go bail Bruce out in person, my brain immediately supplied "because he's cute in an orange jumpsuit" before I read the much more in-character answer Steve actually gave. And then this happened.
> 
> Hrm... I just realised that pick-pocketing is sometimes a felony, not a misdemeanour. But I'm going to say that that's okay because SHIELD surely has measures set up in case agents get caught committing felonies. Bruce wouldn't frame Tony or Steve for felonies, though.


End file.
